Finished Treatment & Feeling so Happy/Sad/Happy/Sad...
Three days ago I took my last little pill, and felt absolutely euphoric. Such a relief to not have to take those pills any more, and especially not have to have those injections any more!! Yay - I did it!
Three days later I'm still happy about it, of course, but now there's this disturbing feeling of doubt that's starting to creep in. Like... what if the virus comes back? And... why isn't the fatigue going away? And especially... what does my future hold? I bet these are all common issues upon finishing, because you fool yourself into thinking the end of treatment means life's going to change instantly, just like magic.
It has changed in one way - I don't have to remember to take those pills twice a day, and I don't have to dread injection day any more. But the fatigue hasn't suddenly stopped. Neither has the moodiness.
Actually, I thought it had. I thought I was suddenly a happier person about two seconds after taking my last pill. But no, that was just a momentary mind-celebration.
What I'm going to do to counteract the feelings of self-doubt is make myself a plan for the future. Something new and challenging that I haven't done before, to celebrate the new me. Of course, I'll need to balance that with not pushing myself too hard while I'm still weak. My body and mind have been through a lot, and there's going to be a certain recovery period needed.
But having something to look forward to should help keep the doubts at bay. Perhaps first of all I'll just make a plan on paper from the comfort of my couch. Then, as I feel stronger, I can begin to act on my plan.
There's no doubt that having hope for the future is great therapy.
Three days later I'm still happy about it, of course, but now there's this disturbing feeling of doubt that's starting to creep in. Like... what if the virus comes back? And... why isn't the fatigue going away? And especially... what does my future hold? I bet these are all common issues upon finishing, because you fool yourself into thinking the end of treatment means life's going to change instantly, just like magic.
It has changed in one way - I don't have to remember to take those pills twice a day, and I don't have to dread injection day any more. But the fatigue hasn't suddenly stopped. Neither has the moodiness.
Actually, I thought it had. I thought I was suddenly a happier person about two seconds after taking my last pill. But no, that was just a momentary mind-celebration.
What I'm going to do to counteract the feelings of self-doubt is make myself a plan for the future. Something new and challenging that I haven't done before, to celebrate the new me. Of course, I'll need to balance that with not pushing myself too hard while I'm still weak. My body and mind have been through a lot, and there's going to be a certain recovery period needed.
But having something to look forward to should help keep the doubts at bay. Perhaps first of all I'll just make a plan on paper from the comfort of my couch. Then, as I feel stronger, I can begin to act on my plan.
There's no doubt that having hope for the future is great therapy.
posted by Filosofette at 4:43 pm
3 Comments:
Filosofette,
Congratulations on completing treatment!! I am so very happy for you. Give it some time - within a few months, the fatigue really fades, as does the moodiness. It takes some time for these very strong medications to clear from our bodies.
All best wishes to you for a speedy recovery and svr. Hope you keep posting to let us know how you're doing. Congratulations again,
Sue
My son recently started a HCV blog for me and added your blog link onto it. Glad he did because now I get to say congratulations to you.
I can also tell you that when you end tx there are many mixed emotions. Like you forget how to feel well, lol but like riding a bike it all comes back to you. I was diagnosed in 1995 and the only tx was mono-interferon. It took me about 6-7 months until I really felt healthy and happy.
Long story short, I ended up doing treatment for 3 years.
This May 16th I celebrated 8 years
being "Cured" Yes I dare to use the "C" word. I hope oneday you will also be blogging that you are CURED... Best Wishes, Bette
I am three weeks away from conclusion of Interferon/Ribaviran treatment. I really appreciated the view from 'the other side of treatment'and look forward to it myself. Thankyou
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